She’s Pregnant…?!

The Do's

Listen, and know the situation involves more than just you.

• It involves your partner.
• It involves a baby...your baby.

Stay Calm. She needs your support now more than ever. She may be carrying the baby, but you are BOTH parents, and regardless of your relationship in the future you will have to work this out together.

Talk about it. Not only with each other, but be prepared to talk with parents and others close to you both. Hiding the news from people who can genuinely help you, only increases the stress.

Gather all the facts. Get all the information, and seek help so you can help make a decision that works for both of you.

Express yourself honestly.  It's normal to have feelings of anger, frustration and fear, but make sure she knows she is not alone.

You’re not alone either, we’re here to help.

The Don'ts

Don't bail. The more you run from this, the harder it becomes to think and act clearly.

Don't pressure her. Applying pressure will only push her away, possibly into a regretful situation. You need to work together as a team.

Don't forget. You have a very active role in this situation, listen to input as well as give your thoughts. Seek help from someone you trust, and talk to more than one person as well as your partner or girlfriend.

CPRC is here to help you and your partner or girlfriend.

What about Her Choices?

There are a few things you should know.

First, whoever is pregnant has the final say in what happens until the baby is born. Even though you are the father, your partner is the one who makes the final decisions regarding the pregnancy.

This does not mean you have to be silent, or not involved with discussions about your futures.  As part of the future, it’s best for you to know all you can about what you can do, and what may happen.

Once you have a baby, there are many things you as a father will need to know, whether you actually parent or not.

What happens to Me?

Yes, sometimes you don’t have a choice in what happens, sometimes you do. But it’s up to you to ask for help and find the answers you need for your life. Going through this process, you may be able to find help for your partner too.

• How your life may or may not change, depends on decisions you make surrounding an STI or pregnancy.
• In a pregnancy as the father, your rights are limited until the baby is born, but this doesn’t mean you don’t have responsibilities, and it doesn’t mean you be involved and help.
• A girl or woman has all the say in what happens to her body, and to the baby she may be carrying until the baby is born. If you are concerned about this, it’s important to talk, talk, talk to your partner and seek advice from someone you trust.
• It’s important to find someone you can trust to talk with. You probably have more people who care and who you can talk to than you think.
• Do not exclude parents, teachers, counsellors and those who truly care about you and your future. It may be hard to tell them or talk with them at first, but most of the time they will be your best support and will be of more help than you know.
• Sometimes it’s good to find help outside your circle of friends, for a fresh perspective, especially if you feel you are being pushed in a direction you don’t want to go in.

Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself, ask questions and get the information. It’s your life.

We even have guys you can talk to, give us a call - 519-620-0204.

What’s Next?

So your girlfriend, wife or partner has just told you that she’s pregnant or thinks she is, and you need to know how much of the decision-making process involves you.

Too often, the “guy” has been characterized as someone who fails to accept responsibility, only offers ultimatums, or simply sneaks out of town. That stereotype is only accurate if you fail to step up to the plate and learn more about the role afforded to you under current laws and processes.

Take a look at these four situations where you need to know your rights and responsibilities.

Parenting

• Am I required to pay child support?
• What custodial (when do I see my child) rights do I have as the father?
• How is the situation affected if paternity (is the baby really mine) is questionable?

Adoption

• Does the province require my signature to complete the adoption process?
• Can I participate in the selection of the adoptive couple?
• In an open adoption, am I able to maintain contact along with the birth mother?

Abortion

• Am I required to assist with the expense of an abortion?
• Do I have any rights if I do not support the decision to terminate?
• Can I force my partner to terminate the pregnancy if I’m not ready to parent?

Paternity Testing

The Cambridge Pregnancy Resource Centre has information relating to Paternity Testing, and can also give you resources for further information and help. We have the support you need and the confidentiality you want.

If you want to know what rights and responsibilities you have as the father, we can put you in touch with professionals who can assist you with your questions.

Don’t wait, call us today - 519-620-0204.